Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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