How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
