I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
