reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
