I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
