who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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