Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
