Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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