Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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