somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
