So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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