I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
