I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
it's like heaven, but drunker
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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