She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
