I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
