His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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