woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
