I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
