i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Randomize
