he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
What a dumb baby whore.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
