Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
a search helicopter?!
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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