This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
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