If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize