New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Randomize
