are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
