You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
