Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He better not be in your backpack
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
