I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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