BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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