talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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