I just pynch a tree in the face
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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