Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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