I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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