Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
