the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
