HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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