i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
