i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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