dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
