I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
