Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
