Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
