He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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