It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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