I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize