We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Randomize