Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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