You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
