They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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