I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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