you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
