Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
