I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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