fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
