...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
