Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
