Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
