someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
