How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
