I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
